Loo Trips Would Never Be The Same Again

The Big Kahuna's last day is tomorrow and they're planning a big send-away do for her for the traditional last swipe before she goes off.

I have been working for the Big Kahuna for the past 7 years, maybe more, I wasn't counting since it's too far from my retirement. And I have such huge respect for her.

She has an envied photographic memory which is a bane to us sometimes and scares the hell out of me when I forget a page she remembers some 6 years ago and wants to see it again. Darn!

Her attention to detail is just amazing. She remembers every single letters and events and literally put me to shame, at times. She's one of those rare women engineers who climbed up to the top, in this sexist world and even more sexist organisation and remained true to herself.

She believes in the marriage and family institutions and has told us that if your children are sick, be with them instead. For that, I take my hat off to you, Big Kahuna.

There are other types of the Veeps who think that just because I've scraped and struggled and burned bridges with my wife and children and friends to get where to I am today, you should too. And the other sicko types who think that weekends are best spent poring over documents and having meaningless meetings.

I loathe these veeps, typically men who are short and pudgy and stout and portly with fake grins and they normally gorge their faces with food during official dinners and they normally have their gargantuan-sized egos as their bestfriends.

Anyways.

My Big Kahuna has never been any of the above. She hardly ever holds meeting past the official working hours, unless it was completely necessary. For the days, I was kept in meetings way past time, I have accepted it as I saw it fit for her to conclude issues. And she was always asking me about my kids and my plans and personal stuff.

For the past 3 years, I think, I've worked closely with her and I saw the unadulterated part of her and I'm proud to be there. She might not have won many hearts but she sure struck mine. My respect for her was truly earned and never demanded.

Colleagues would argue that I felt that way since I was always picked by her for assignments and she would march down my lowly-end-of-the-world room to tell me a conversation she just had with someone.

But like my SecondInLineBigKahuna would say, my toilet trips would never be the same again once BigKahuna retires.

You see. For some reason or another, I bump into BigKahuna the most at the exact spot in between the 2 sinks in the women's toilet.

I've had assignments handed over while I washed my hands.
I've had to present status of current crisis and issues to her while I put on my hijab after ablution.
I've had to report to her how my feverish child was recovering.
I've had small talks of where I bought my simply brooches.

My last encounter with BigKahuna in the loo was last week.

She just finished ablution and I was walking towards the loo at the very end of the toilet. She hmmp-ed at me and I acknowledged her her a hmmp myself. I went in the cubicle and locked the door.

Then I heard. "Gartblue!". Yikes!

I unlocked the door and came out, nature call aborted for the next 6 minutes as she was asking me about one of her current favourite issues.

I had no choice but to succumb to it. My kidneys just had to wait a bit longer.

When I was relating this to SecondInLineBigKahuna , instead of nods of sympathy, she might as well rolled on the floor, laughing, because that's exactly what she did. In fact, she ended her hysterical laughing fit by saying that, "Your loo trips would never be the same again!".

Anyhow.

I hope the she enjoys retirement. I hope she enjoys not having to deal with this crap on a daily basis ever again. I hope that she finds new adventures in her travels.

And thank you for teaching me what I need to learn. A living example of a working, successful woman with all her values in tact. Thank you, so much.

p/s Now I can pee in peace. No pun intended.