I Lost A Friend Yesterday

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I just came back to the office from the burial of my friend, boss and colleague.

Eyes puffy and head splitting from the crying, I need a short nap.

Zul passed away yesterday at around 4:30pm from complications from his second surgery after his first gallstone removal surgery. I regret not finding time to visit him before he went under his second surgery and never regain conciousness again.

Yesterday, we were jolted by news that he had a turn for the worst and we came in droves, hugged Zida, the grieving and sad young wife. Patted the shoulders of Danny, the eldest at 15, Nina at 13 and Alyssa at 10. We took Andri and Baby who are 5 and 2 to breakfast and stayed around to babysit the younger ones.

It looked bad. I came to his bedside twice. This was only the second time I ever was in the ICU/HDU. The first was to visit Lollies' mom. Zul looked pale, he looked asleep but I prayed for him. He was sweating profusely the second time I went in.

By 4:30pm, the dreaded phonecall came in.

I rushed to the hospital with Hisham, his fellow Kelantanese and a very good friend, being of the same age. I saw the kids and tears flowed.

It was time. It was time. This is Allah's promise.

And this morning, alhamdulillah the burial went well. The sun shone brightly. Fresh tears flowed.

I came in the office, glancing at his room, dark and read his name on the door and I smiled through my blurry eyes. I knew him from the very first day I started work here, 12 years ago. We shared many stories together. Many jokes together, most of them rather x-rated and trips all over the country, meetings , negotiations and every possible thing that could have befall us, 8 hours a way, 5 days a week.

We bought our first houses together and celebrated the birth of our children together. We discussed what cars to buy and he would always ask me of my opinion with his health or Zida or any of his children. You see, Allah is great. Zul was worrying about having to have an open heart surgey to replace his now-warranty-expired 23 years old mechanical heart valve. And this surgery he had was a minor one. And that's what caused his death. His ailing heart held out longer than his body could. Allahu akbar!

MissKLSentral was a wreck too last night. Lollies would be too, if she was here.

Zul was a super likeable person. He was always making people laugh. 2 weeks ago, in his last Harfiyah lesson, he was cracking jokes and we were all reduced to teary-eyed laughing growups all through the class. More than usual, I thought and I was telling everyone about THAT particular harfiyah lesson because I enjoyed it so much. Moshi's missed the class, otherwise we would be on the floor, in stitches. He was always the class's clown. Making jokes and asking innocent questions. Who would've thought he would be gone today?

The last time I saw him, he came to my room returning azGROWLen's cds of The Hereafter series by Anwar Al-Awlaki. A month ago, he saw them in my room and was instantly intrigued. I was telling him the lessons I've learnt from those 18 CDs and he was instantly sold.

We discussed the CDs, the many many things that we never knew that we really should. He was so feeling slightly guilty for holding on to the CDs for so long to which I said, I was sure azGROWLen wouldn't mind. Zul was so so grateful that he had the opportunity to listen to the Cds again and again and he told me how his children, especially Nina was into them.

He completed the whole series last 2 weeks and now his journey has begun. I pray that Allah have mercy on him. I pray that Allah have mercy on his widow and young children. I pray that Allah grants us all enlightening. A death is a minor sign of kiamat. Especially when it's someone we know and we've grown close too, almost family.


9 growls by fellow growlers ...:

azGROWLen said...

tears flowed reading your notes. A tribute to a person we all grown to love and respect

elisataufik said...

this is so sad.

My condolences to his family, you and everyone else who knew him and was touched by him.

Lollies said...

I remembered Megat. And I remembered us crying our eye balls out. *ohhhh huuugggsss*

May Allah forgive our friends who have gone before us and May He placed them in jannah. May Allah make their sickness and their pain as an expiation of their sins. And may all the pain they endured make them clean a clean sheet and therefore make them go through the stages of the afterlife a breeze.

The last I saw him was when I went back last year. I bumped into him. Him and cik kai (how is cik kai by the way?). I can still remember his smiles and jokes. I can imagine all of you in the harfiyah class. (the class that i tuang on my last days in the office. Frust bangetlah tu kononnya :P)

The office will never be the same again after this. So many things have happen. But at least when I come go back to visit you guys, we have other points to talk about eh? All the good lectures that we have been learning. alhamdullilah.

Gartblue said...

azgrowlen .. we were there together through the years, thick or thin. it's hard not to feel anything. right now, his door is so hard to look at. there are letters which he minuted with his handwriting not that long ago...

elisa .. thanks ..

Lollies said...

what is that i am writing? "when I come go back?" I should come to terms that i will go back and not come back kan?

Gartblue said...

lollies ... if you were here, we could cry our eyes out again and again and get headaches from it all! .. I kept thinking about Zul and I felt really relief he got to listen to them all, to prepare himself and I really owe it to you to introduce the CDs to me, and to him, and to azGROWLen to lend them to me. If we walk towards ALlah, He would run towards us. I feel so strongly about this and I have you to thanks.

And Zul was someone you couldn't forget .. even if the Arabic lessons in Harfiyah was hard, he stuck with it .. in moments of desperation, he cracked jokes and made us all laugh.

Cik Kai almost fainted at the kubur pagi tadi. I think he wasn't taking this easy. Men just bottle things us. Zul & Kai were the unlikely twins and Zul's gone. Kai's bound to get lost.

Insyallah babe .. I'm on Umar Al-Khattab series now. Zul was starting on Uthman bin Affan just before his demise. I just completed Prophets of Allah and planned to pass them to him, but I guess, I'm a bit late.


I miss you.

Gartblue said...

lolls .. yes, you sure need to come back and not go back. if this makes any sense at all.

theotheraj said...

and i didn't get a chance to see him .. yishhh

azGROWLen said...

Lessons learned

1. Kita hidup tak lama
2. Based on 1 kena banyak amal
3. Great to have friends who would be there through thick and thin, Mosh making sure the family was looked after all the while and organizing assistance, CikLay, Gart for managing the kids and getting stuff, B for getting food; and others without them we would be lost
4. Can remember the ones we lost by helping the ones that lived - the family, doas (lost of doas)