Aghast and Horrified

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Received a phonecall from Ayisha's KAFA a while ago. Very disturbing. Teacher Hayati explained that the Ayisha before class has asked a friend to buy her some stuff and giving the friend about RM100. I nearly choked on my saliva.

What?

Where did she RM100?

What's on today?

Fees? Can't be. We always pay by cheques, never cash.

Did she get the money from a friend?

Did she get it from US?

Did I lose some money in wallet? Hmm .. I thought my wallet's thinner these days and I just couldn't put my finger on it. But surely, she didn't get it off my wallet. The thin wallet could be the normal state of my wallet.

Could this be because last Saturday we refused to get her the bling-bling bracelet which was only RM15.90 but I said that there're too many bracelets in the house and I ain't buying more?

Why?

Why her?

Why me ?

Does it has any relation to the incident on Monday when I found somebody's pencil case in her bag which she claimed that her friend gave to her? I did talk to her about not taking other people's stuff EVEN if they're giving it to her. Did she get my point?

Oh no! This is an anti-social behaviour, surely it is.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

*Googles for tips to deal with this*

Taken from ParenTips
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The process is simple and straightforward with only three steps.

1) Don't ask the child for explanations, forget about all the "why did" and "how could" you do this. Merely state that you know the theft occurred.

2) Say that stealing is wrong. Use simple explanations. "Stealing is wrong. You would not want anyone to take your doll. So it's wrong for you to take this doll." The child does not need a lecture or sermon on the starving children of ripped-off store owners. Never imply that your child is bad, just that he or she did a bad thing.

3) Establish restitution. See to it that the child takes the object back to the friend or store. Tell the child to apologize and say he or she will never do it again. Accompany the child but don't tell the owner of the object to be cruel or unduly harsh. It's OK for the child to feel ashamed but the child should not feel devastated by the parent or the shop owner.

You see, there is such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we overdo it in our parental zeal to be sure we nip future delinquency in the bud, the child may internalize the feeling that he or she is bad. The child may think it's hopeless to even try to be good -- "my parents think I'm a terrible child." Instead you want your child to internalize that THE BEHAVIOR OF STEALING IS WRONG.

1 growls by fellow growlers ...:

ninuk said...

That's one thing I like abt Hayati of AdDaris (orang ghanu tu). Always hv that personal touch. Anyway, you might want to investigate further with her friends. Pasang le spy @ AdDaris.