Tis Fine, Really

Guess you guys guessed it right.

I missed the promotion.

I'm selecting this version to go by. I lost it because a better, finer manager than me deserves it more than me. Rather than this version I had in my mind that had the words "eMDee", "hates" "me" or "double promotion", "the hell you won't" do.

I told myself I was fine. I joked with friends that I'll stick here longer to torment you guys. I know I'm fine. I know I'll survive. But reality slapped me really, really hard. It stung. I thought I was made of sterner stuff. I know I am, but I'm letting my softer side rule for the next 3 days.

I wanted the post. I needed to get out of here. Not because I was getting sidelined here, but because I was on my ultimate high here and I wanted to leave when I was cherished and needed, not when I was getting unwanted. I also needed the money. I needed new challenges. I needed a change. And also the damning fact that my degree (ignoring the fact that I have a MSc) prevents me from even dreaming of higher posts and that POST was one of the few that I can even dream of getting. And I was perfect for it. In my mind at least.

Alright. Enough sorrow for a blog already. I'm dripping with self-pity now and even I don't like me now. This morning, people have started telling me, in case I don't know already, I missed the boat. Sigh!

I guess there are better posts for me in the future. Probably much better than this. And it's all tersurat anyway. Tuhan Maha Kaya. This is the best for me. Not getting this, though it hurts so much, is BEST for me. I know this.

So, folks, thanks for your support. Need retail therapy now. :)

Patah Hati ..

Dah buat camana?

Dah takde rezeki. Aku pasrah.

Hugs are welcomed.

Boring Mak Aii ..

Hari ini hari Khamis.

Esok last puasa, lepas tu nak Raya. Tapi saya masih diopis. Dah namanya kuli, kena la berlagak like one. Sob sob sob! Tapi saya tak kisah sangat la actuallynya, sebab dah ada deal dengan MrGart. Andes, the pembantu rumah sekarang sedang berhorey-horey di kampungnya di Pekan Baru, Indonesia. Sementara, kami majikannya masih bekerja and saya rasa MrGart at this point in time is trying to figure out which setting does the washing machine set on a normal day.

Hmm. Tapi takpe. Saya lebih rela terpaksa bertungkus-lumus takde help rather than have a helper during Raya monyok aje.

Anyway. Semalam & hari ini turn MrGart jaga anak-anak dirumah. He he he!

Semalam aku balik rumah, phew! Nasib baik masih boleh nampak lantai. Terer jugak MrGart pick up after the kids. Although I learned later, he’s lost his voice from too much jerkah-ing and yelling. Apa ra! Baru satu hari.

Anyway.

Sungguh boring hari ini. Saya ingat kejap lagi nak pegi cari baju raya. Saya takde baju rayalagi. Uwaaa! Nak pegi potong rambut seround. Tapi kejap lagi dah jajni dengan MrGart to go pik my car up from the mechanics. Camana ye ?

Well. I think there’ll be more posts today. Till then.

Adani Turns A Big Four !

Happy 4th Birthday, ADANI !

Last Sunday, the 7th October 2007 was her birthday. The day she has waited on for ever. I'm not quite sure why, but I guess the concept of time is a bit hard to grasp at that age.

So, I planned for a little family do on that Sunday. Somehow, the do was on Saturday instead, since we were off to Melaka to send off Andes, and my mother's minding the kids, so the whole clan came over to break fast at my place.

I made the cake for her. She's so thrilled. I've never baked a birthday cake, ever and am quite pleased with the result. I was also ignoring my twin's comment on the layers were a bit lopsided. Cehs!


She blew the candles twice amidst the many cousins and she looked oh so angelic. She's always so angelic, Adani is. She's ever ready to help and never one to fuss unless she's really tired or not feeling terribly good. But she's truly a happy girl. A princess. One who will model for the camera, tirelessly and one who will sing and shout the High School Musical songs at full blast.

Happy Birthday sayang! Mummy loves you very, very much!

Taggily Happy

Been tagged by none other than the woman of leisure, famyCun and since I have about 20 minutes before I can safely go traipsing down midV with a bunch of excited gals, I might as well do this.

5 Things in my bag
- brand new mata kumpuan sunglasses from the brand "teka".
- wallet hitam yang dah tercabut the zil holder
- notebook kecik to tulis apa I do on a daily basis
- surat to redeem voucher jasko
- 5 pens biru

5 Things in my wallet
- ATM card
- 2 credit cards
- voucher jasko
- membership cards gile banyak
- RM 210 and pelbagai duit syiling


5 favorite Things in my bedroom
- Aliya
-Ayisha
- Adani
- Ariz
- if I'm lucky, me!
5 Things I would like to do

- spa treatment, pedicure, manicure, massages
- bake, bake and bake
- learn to quilt
- learn water colouring
- sing loudly in the car

5 Things I am doing now
- tengok jam, lambatnya nak 12:30pm
- pikir nak beli apa kat midv nanti
- sapa nak drive
- oo blog again, apa lagi
- apahal aku banyak sangat outstation trips lepas Raya ni, Manjung, Gebeng & Kota Kinabalu. In demand ke aku ni ?

5 People I want to tag:
Disebabkan I'm always tertinggal bas, I think I'll leave to my fans, *chewwaah* if you, you, you, you and you wanna do this. Can ?

Left Her Crying

I left Adani crying this morning. Right after our routine drive around the block.

I opened the door, called her Princess and picked up her bag and held her hand for her to get out of the car.

Then she uuhmm-ed and leaned on the car. Uh-Oh! It was 7:12am. Normally she would be happily salam-ing me, getting kisses and hugs from me and gaily hopped into the house to wait for the Auntie Manjit's van around 7:55am.

"Mummyyyy. Dani nak cocokrunch dalam the blue container tu."

"Okay, nanti kakak ambikkan okay?" Kakak is our maid, I never let the kids call any of our maids, Bibik.

"Ummm.. Dani nak MUMMY ambikkan." *eyes started to droop, lips scrunched up*

"Mummy's late la sayang. Please. Opps, your forgot your duit. Here's RM1. Okay ?"
Note: She gets a singgit everyday, which she insists after watching sisters get money too. Singgit or wailing? I'll take singgit.

"Uwaaaaaaaa"

I called my helper and asked her to get Adani what she wanted and to bodily take her back into the house. I had to force myself to kiss her, when she's slumped and refusing to be touched my the maid, arms outstretched for me. Adoiii!

Feeling guilty, I called home about 20 minutes later. Adani picked up the phone and was chirpily telling me that both her and Aliya was outside waiting for the vans. She didn't seem disturbed by the fact that she wailed and prolly woke up the whole street less than half an hour ago.

I guess kids forget easily. Not something we should take advantage of, actually.

Life's Like That

Am just reminded that this Saturday my helper's going home for her Raya for two weeks. Quickly made a call to my mom, to enlist her to watch the kids on Saturday while me and MrGart drove all the way to Melaka Port to send Andes.

Really. Friends have frowned when I said she's going back for Raya. Especially when she was home for 2 weeks in May this year. Since this year is the 5th year she's with us. I've struck a deal with her. You work with me a full year, I'll give you 2 months' salary as bonus and you get to go home twice in a year, two weeks each time.

I know it's a lot. But she's really good. The kids get along well with her. But not close enough to be called anak bibik. My kids are never THAT close to our helpers. I won't let them. I'm that possessive.

But she has a level head on her shoulders. Her husband left her and her 3 big kids a long time ago and she needed money to live. She's not into man and stuff and she's rather sensible. The house is a haven with her around. Not a speck of dust around. Until the kids come home and trash the place, which she patiently picks up after again and again and again.

One little snag though. She sucks at cooking. After 5 years, she can only cook ayam masak kicap. Remember the ikan masin acar buah? The fresh kerabu daun ceylom I bought which she heated and the dauns got so layu. But then again, it's my fault really. I never stressed on her to cook. All meals are prepared by me and cooked by me, with little sharing. Sungguh kurang manis, actually. I'd rather my family eats off my air tangan, than the maid's. Even if I have Ariz on my hips, stirring the kurma daging.

Anyway. I'm sure we'll survive the 2 weeks without Andes. We've done it before. I always thought I'd go nuts with the mess and the demands of the kids which all spell mess. But once we're at it, it all comes naturally. The kids will get a little annoyed that they have to do chores and pick up after themselves, but they're supposed to ANYWAY. I don't want to breed a lazy lot. I had maids picking up after me when I was growing up and I think I'm alright. Guess, my mom's way righted me, alright.

Well. Pick pick pick. I hope I won't yell as much as I think I will. I'm out to prove myself wrong here. Wish me luck.

She Is Curious

Aliya is 9. Way too early to me to be having periods. No, she hasn’t got hers yet. But her cousin, Nor who’s 2 months older got hers about 3 months back.

That piqued Aliya’s interest a lot lately.

She’ been asking me when she’s getting hers. Told her that some girls get it early, some maybe later. I got mine when I was 12 going 13. And that seemed to be the norm in those days. These days, girls are getting matured much much earlier than we used to. Either time, relatively is flying faster or they’re growing much too fast. In the olden days (maacm la lama sangat dah tu!), if you get your periods in Standard 5, it’s early. Standard 3 is unheard of.

Anyway, turning this educationally, I reminded her it’s not about getting periods early that matters. It’s a big responsibilities and that one which she needs to prepare from now on. She merely nodded, deep in thought. Oh anakku sudah besar!

Anyway, was at UKS and found an email on how Lily explains to her kids about periods.

“Show them a diagram of a woman’s womb. Tell them that is where babies are created and where they grow. Every month, a woman’s body will build up lots of blood tissues in the womb so that when there is a baby in there, it will be protected from harm like bumps and stuff. If there is no baby, the body needs to flush out the blood so the womb is clean again, so that is why girls have their periods.

If they ask how are babies created? I just tell them that the mommy’s egg and the daddy’s egg meet in the womb. So far, haven’t gone much further than that… “

Hmm .. interesting. I’ll try that!

Isnin is Monday

Aku tengah tersengih ni. Bukannya apa. Hari ni hari Isnin. Teringat that Ariz was born on a Monday and my Tok, who's been quite successful in getting us (my brother alone, actually, us, the sisters have not been compliant enough) to name our children, her cucus.

It started with Faiz, then Firdaus. Good names I thought. Then my brother's youngest baby girl was born and she insisted that he named her, Saodah. I remembered rolling on the floor, breaking out into a hysterical laugh and shed a lot of tears when my mother was regaling us with her conversation with my Tok. Lucky my grandmother wasn't there to witness. Otherwise, I would be forced to content myself just a chuckle quietly. Saodah was vehemently veto-ed by my brother, as expected. Saodah is now a Shakirah.

A few names later, I gave birth to Ariz. On a Monday.

So, her being helpful, proclaimed that we should name the only boy I have with .. MUHAMMAD SENAYAN !

First, I had that disbelief look on my face which quickly turned to horror. You see, it was easy to laugh at my brother when he was confronted with such problem. When I was in one myself, it wasn't very funny.

The thought of breaking her heart by telling her ..

"Hmm Tok, nama Muhamad tu sedap Tok, tapi kan Tok, Senayan tu kan, kan .. ala Tok, tak rock la Tok. Nanti kat sekolah kawan-kawan gelakkan dia. Nama lain boleh tak, Tok? Tok marah tak ? "

Not pretty.

Finally, I came with with Ahmad Ariz Zuhayr and I think she's okay with it.

Now, loose cannon was what that little Ariz was last night at PeeJayHi1ton. Arghhh! I never fully understood the meaning of loose cannon, until Ariz came along. It's like he's gone just crazily happy, hopping hear and there, roaring playfully at everyone, crawling under the tables and chairs and singing Pricilla, the Mighty Gorrila at the top of his voice.